“I remembered the actual state of things and felt worse than ever. Stone cold desolate. Inconsolable. Like I had been weighed down with concrete and dropped into a river of despair. At least, when I am writing, I suppose, I’m spared all of that for a while” said Robert Mowbray in Alan Durant’s novel, Blood.
I resonate so much with this quote but for me, it doesn’t end there. I write to remind myself lest I forget. I write to redefine who I was said to be. I write because my heart longs to see the road that leads home. I write because my soul yearns for the presence of my mother. I write to emancipate myself from mental slavery. I write to seek redemption for my soul. I write to be in sync with my spiritual calling. I write because my faith is constantly waiting through doubt and fear. I write to find my voice. I write as an act of self-expression. I write to retrace my steps. I write to pave the way to my destiny.
“I write to seek redemption for my soul and to pave the way to my destiny”
I write to honour the strong women who have become pillars of strength to other women. I write to empower women who have been stripped of their self-worth by conventional beauty standards.
As women, we always criticize each other instead of fixing each other’s crowns when they aren’t straight. This leads to a low sense of self and worthiness to those who are looked down upon. We need to empower and build each other. Through writing, I challenge this phenomenon.
I write because the silence in my room becomes too loud. I write because I feel like I am wading in water, drowning and cannot catch my breath. I write because;
“friends like paper chains in the rain and the sky holds nothing but the promise of more storms”, as Angela Abrahams said in her novel Are you awake yet.
When loneliness strikes, it silently paves the way for anxiety to creep in. So, I try to block it from consuming me through writing.
I write when there is a song in my heart.
There is always a lyric to a song inside my heart that is conjured by the rhythm in my subconscious.
I write to unroot all the negativity that has been looming from within. I write to continuously rise above lower emotions that try to keep me stuck in the past. I write to liberate the pain that was concealed inside my heart begging to be heard. I write as though I indulge in self-pity and self-doubt. I write to show that vulnerability is not a weakness or a passing disposition. I write because it is not palatable enough to share my downfalls with people. I write because like Mam’Gcina Mhlophe
“I tell stories to awake stories in other people because I believe that every living being has got a story to tell”.
I write to free my soul from all negativity, pain and emotions that seek to bring me down and strip me of my sense of being.
Conflict with thyself 